The Naked Truth

About Donald Trump

It was just reported that a life-size statue of a completely naked Donald J. Trump was found in Los Angeles, New York, Seattle, Cleveland and San Francisco. In the latter city, it was standing at the corner of Castro and Market Streets, in the heart of the GLTBQU section of town. Only God knows why, but in many instances, people were taking selfies standing next to the Donald.

The statues were placed there by an American activist collective called IN DECLINE, who issued the following statement, “It is through these sculptures that we leave behind the physical and metaphysical embodiment of the ghastly soul of one of America’s most infamous and reviled politicians.”

Hillary Is Panting

It is fervently hoped and prayed that there will be no such statues made exposing Hillary in anything other than in her collection of awful pant suits of faded colors. However, the media is encouraged to continue to expose her peccadillos. For the uninformed, those are not body parts.

A Total Loss for Words

Trump’s campaign declined to comment on the statutes in general, nor on the accuracy of the specific size of any of the body parts.

Don’t Rush In To

Find the Right Words

Trump’s campaign chairman, Paul Manafort, resigned today amid a political remake, and new reports that described his pro-Russian work for a political party in Ukraine. Trump spun a positive statement on his departure, saying, 

“This morning Paul Manafort offered, and I accepted, his resignation from the campaign. I am very appreciative for his great work in helping to get us where we are today.”

“Where we are today” is behind in all of the polls except for those who only interview Donald Trump’s family, and the doormen at Trump Towers.

You’re Fired

In June, Trump fired then campaign manager Corey Lewandowski, whose relationship with the RNC had become increasingly strained. It is also alleged that during one of Trump’s raucous rallies, Corey grabbed a female reporter as she approached Donald.

You’re Hired

Trump recently promoted pollster Kellyanne Conway to campaign manager and far right wing provocateur Breitbart News executive Stephen Bannon to campaign CEO. This should temporarily sate the appetite of Trump’s America-First followers.

Campaign Is Mired

“Mire” is defined as a bog, thick mud, or a difficult situation. Trump has the ability to be a double-jointed individual with his non-scripted talks, as he continually takes his foot, no make that his feet, and lodge them into his mouth.

Among other less-than-astute actions, Trump has had a public feud with a Gold Star Family, has made fun of a disabled reporter, has offered Hillary up for target practice to his Second Amendment followers, has derided a Mexican-American judge who was born in Wisconsin, and has advanced a conspiracy theory that Ted Cruz’s father was part of a plot to assassinate President Kennedy.

What About Hillary?

Over the next four years, which of the two major candidates for President do you want to see nightly on the Evening News, find in your local paper every day, be on the cover of your favorite magazine, or in your favorite comic strip?

Unfortunately, “neither,” is not an option.